Attachment theory has had quite a journey. Developed by John Bowlby in the mid-twentieth century to describe how early bonds with caregivers shape a child's sense of safety in the world, it was later extended by researchers Mary Ainsworth and Mary Main into a framework that has now found its way onto every relationship podcast and first-date conversation. You have almost certainly heard the terms: secure, anxious, avoidant, disorganised. You may well have already decided whic

There is a particular kind of loneliness that can settle into a relationship when one partner wants more sex, or different sex, than the other. It rarely gets talked about directly, even in therapy, even between people who love each other and communicate well about almost everything else. This is desire discrepancy, and it is one of the most common issues couples bring to therapy. You are not unusual, and you are not failing. What desire discrepancy actually means Desire disc

An overloaded car packed full of belongings, representing the idea of asking one relationship to carry more weight than it can hold - are we asking too much? There's a particular kind of loneliness that settles into a relationship: the loneliness of feeling unseen by the one person who's supposed to know you best. It's one of the most painful experiences a couple can have, and it's becoming increasingly common. But why? Many of the couples I work with are committed, caring, a

Emotional unavailability is a phrase we often hear in therapy rooms, on social media, and in conversations about relationships. Yet many people aren’t fully sure what it means — or why it happens. Emotional unavailability isn’t about being cold, uncaring, or incapable of love. More often, it’s a form of protection. It develops from lived experiences, attachment patterns, cultural expectations, neurodivergence, or past relational wounds. And while it can create distance in rel